OfficeSpeak.wtf

“Let's circle back on this”

This decision is being indefinitely postponed. No one wants to own it. The phrase 'circle back' is where ideas go to quietly die.

“Per my last email...”

You ignored what I wrote. I am repeating myself. There is a quiet, professional fury behind every word of this sentence.

“Let's touch base”

Someone wants a meeting that could have been an email. It will last longer than expected and end without a decision.

“We need more synergy across teams”

No one is talking to each other and management has noticed. Expect a new process, a new Slack channel, or a team-building day that nobody asked for.

“I don't have the bandwidth for that right now”

I am already doing too much and this request is being declined. If you escalate, I will pretend I never received this message.

“Your role is evolving as the business grows”

Your job title is changing. Your responsibilities are expanding. Your salary is not being discussed in this conversation.

“We'd like to discuss your development areas”

Your manager has complaints. This has been building for some time. The word 'development' is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

“We're making some changes to the team structure”

Someone is being made redundant. If you are reading this email particularly carefully, that someone may be you.

“Let's take this offline”

This conversation is going somewhere uncomfortable. Someone senior is embarrassed. It will not be revisited.

“This is a great opportunity for someone to step up”

Someone has left and we are not replacing them. The work is now available to whoever is willing to do it for free.